Protecting the Joy in the Game

When my boys were young, I started filming their games so we could watch them together afterward. After so
many years in professional basketball, breaking down film felt natural to me, and I thought it would be a great way
to help them learn the game. I pictured the three of us enjoying it, pausing clips, talking through plays, and having
fun.

But as we watched, I slipped into a tone they weren’t ready for. I didn’t raise my voice, but the frustration showed.
If they turned their head and lost sight of the ball, or stopped on a screen, or forced a tough shot, I reacted like I
was coaching grown men. These were normal mistakes for kids, but my expectations weren’t set for where they
were developmentally. And they felt it.
After a little while, I noticed the boys didn’t look forward to watching film anymore. They didn’t say anything, but
their body language did. They felt my tension. Something that should have been fun had become something they
preferred to avoid. And I realized I had unintentionally created that atmosphere.

So I changed my approach. I started noticing the good things first. I asked more questions instead of giving quick
corrections. I pointed out smart plays from their teammates. I tried to enjoy it with them. When the tone shifted,
their attitude shifted too. Not long after that, the boys were coming home and saying, “Dad, can we watch my
game?” The difference was obvious. They wanted to share it with me because it felt good again.
That moment taught me something I needed to learn as a parent: kids grow best when they feel joy in what they’re
doing. They listen better. They learn more easily. They feel safe enough to stretch themselves. Correction still
matters, of course, but it reaches them more deeply when the environment is warm enough for them to receive it.

More than a century ago, James Naismith created basketball because he wanted a game that could teach young
people Christian values. He understood that learning happens more naturally when the experience carries joy. Kids
lean in when something is fun. They pull away when it feels heavy. That has always been true.
As parents, we have values we hope our kids will learn through sports. But sometimes we can make the experience
tense, pressured, or overly technical. We can’t let our passion become our child’s burden. Because when that
happens, the learning we hope for becomes a lot harder to reach.
The game matters. The lessons matter. The effort and character we hope to build matter. But at its heart, it is still
just a game. When we protect the joy in it, we give our kids room to grow in ways that last far beyond the final
score.

Reflection Question:

What emotion do you want your child to feel when they share their games with you?

Author Bio

Alex Compton is an author, coach, and former international professional basketball player whose career has taken
him into global youth-sports development. He co-founded the Nike Elite Camp and the NBTC program in the
Philippines and has coached both professionally and with Gilas Pilipinas, the Philippine Men’s National Team.
Now based in Madison, he is a member of the WBCA Hall of Fame and co-author of Guiding Your Child’s Athletic
Journey, winner of the 2025 NYC Big Book Award. Alex is a Cornell University graduate in Human Development
and Family Studies and speaks on parenting, leadership, and youth sports.